Thursday, June 11, 2009

My Schrodinger Box

Monday's ultrasound confirmed that, in the sealed-box-with-radioactive-isotope that is my uterus, the kitten, if you will, is currently alive. 

I am the possessor of one small black blob, complete with teeny, super-rapid heartbeat. 

Just one. That means of my 18 clanking oocytes, I ended up with one embryo that was capable and willing to latch on, and one blastocyst on the rocks. Wow, that's a lot of work. 

My always-supportive husband: "Man, why did (neighbor's name) get twins and we only got one?"

As always, I reply that someday I will stuff two large, non-round items up his butt and ask him to push them out. 

We'll apparently learn a lot more at next Monday's ultrasound. I have now brought the two borrowed pregnancy books into the house, but haven't read them yet. At some point, I think it's just going to be considered negligent to refuse to read them for fear of awakening the Bad Luck. 

Although, as an extremely wacky family doctor once told me, "Crack addicts and drunks have healthy babies all the time. I don't recommend it, but it happens." So, um - I guess I won't screw up too terribly bad in the next few days, given that the most addictive substance I've had since April was a deeeeelicious Wild Cherry Pepsi at the movies the other night. (I was afraid I'd doze off during the 7:oo p.m. show.) 

If only I could...

1. Tell the difference between gas pain and uterine cramps.
2. Get some Giant Pregnancy Ta-Tas (TM) to balance out my progesterone bloat.
3. Feel more confident. (But maybe soon!)


  1. I didn't find any of the pregnancy books really worth reading. They don't tell you the important stuff, like you will start snoring like a freight train. Between the snoring, the gas, and the weight gain, you may ruin 3 of your husband's five senses. But you won't really notice anything except the weight gain.

    Sadly, I never got the Giant Pregnancy Ta-Tas...My modest B cup went to a heavy B/small C cup. How disappointing.

    Hope the confidence builds daily!

  2. Congrats!!! I have my ultrasound on the 22nd, and am so nervous.

    So funny, the gas pains and uterine cramps! I feel exactly the same way!

    I am sure that in October when I had a chemical, it was brought on by purchasing What to Expect... And then in December, pulling it out and reading it caused a miscarriage. So, I'll be pulling it out again when my child gets accepted to college. ;) I'm hoping this one sticks around.

    Glad your confidence is building. :)

  3. Congrats to you! I think I agree with PJ. I am sure the day that I sat on the toilet leafing through the What to Expect and thought to myself, oh hey, I should probably bone up on that pre-term labor chapter (and didn't) was when all hell broke loose. Read the FUN books, like how to give yourself home spa treatments while knocked up and other goodies like that. Enjoy the bloat. Own it. Love it.

  4. Your wish list... it's like I could have written it. Seriously. Good luck on the ta tas!

  5. I am feeling your wish lists :)
    Congrats on the heartbeat!!